Maybe it is the result of over-stimulation and the fast pace we face in life; the rush of work, appointments, family time and the mundane tasks like cleaning and laundry. I would go out once in a while with my close friends, maybe catch a quick lunch/ dinner/coffee session and while it is great, sometimes it can be exhausting to juggle, more so emotionally and mentally.
During my free time, I would then scroll on social media, look at photos of people laughing (though not all may have the sort of exciting lives they would like others to perceive), think of how some may not be doing so well (by their angsty, emotional statuses) and go to sleep with some uneasiness.
I would not stop thinking. Not just of things directly related to me or my close ones, but of anything and everything. It would all of a sudden become too much, overwhelming and during my moments alone, I would feel anxious when there was nothing earth shaking to feel anxious about.
It’s funny sometimes how one aspect of life can be related to another. Our home is my safe haven and when our house was more cluttered, I would be in a state of unrest that went beyond what vacuuming and mopping could fix. It is a true pattern of mine to let things build up and be cluttered then I would turn into an OCD freak, cleaning and de-cluttering until I reach that level of zen again.
I’ve been reading Marie Kondo’s The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up and I like the way she put it. Keep only the things that make you happy, that spark joy. Though some bits she takes it to another level (like hugging your clothes and trying to FEEL the joy), I believe that cracker has spouted some truth.
Keep only the things that keep you happy.
You have probably read it in books/magazines/someone’s facebook status/instagram post so it may not sound like anything new, but it is so true. There is no need to keep things that do not matter and while it may sound a bit crass to liken people to things, sometimes the same rationale applies.
In the past, when people drifted apart, it was not because there was any beef between them. Nowadays, it seems a bit of a taboo to not be in touch with someone/not be on their Instagram/Facebook feed, to not keep up with their happening lives if you truly proclaim yourself to be a part of their lives. Yet the crux of it remains: Is it really that important? Does it also spark joy in you? Do you feel refreshed or happy when you are around them, virtually or otherwise, or is it just something you keep around for fear of having to do without it? Do you feel like it is a reflection of yourself that may taint your reputation?
It’s true sometimes that you won’t know how you miss someone until they are not around, but there is also the flip side not many people talk about. That you may not miss them, maybe because your life is already having the ones who matter and it is not some sort of leader board game where your value is based on the number of friends you have or pose in photos looking happy with.
Not forgetting how people choose to show only the highlight reel of their lives instead of the grit behind the scenes. I have seen some people “doctor” their reels, choosing to conceal the truth of their life events and having this sort of “queen bee” or “I’m the best” mentality, attacking those who do not agree with them or those who try to show some nuances of the truth. If you disagree with them, you are the one at fault so God forbid you say something that aggravates them. God forbid you have an opinion that is different from them.
Honestly, social media doesn’t deserve such crackpots riding their waves; the world is a better off place without such cretins who demand the right of “free speech” without having the balls to bear the implications and consequences of what they say and post. Steering away from these “crazies” will also bring joy to your life, so do yourself a favor. Hit that unfollow button, cut them out and you will find that you are not missing out on much at all. Be happy.