AK: 27 months

I have managed to start the muay thai routine! As in keeping to it for now, 3 mornings a week. There’s yet to be a class where I don’t literally drip in sweat after (sexy, I know hahaha) and am getting used to the soreness of my muscles. It is quite addictive.

Work wise, there was this horrid incident that happened last week. Let’s put it this way, if I had not had sore muscles, I may have used the bozo as my punching bag. He should thank his lucky stars for this new hobby that has me feeling zen (or mostly tired) and his body in intact condition.

But I did fall sick instead hahaha I guess there is a trade-off to everything. It was nice though to have some downtime and just sprawl myself on the couch and binge-watch That 70s show. I love the quips and the banter, nowadays tv shows seem so serious!

On a side note, my baby girl is no longer a baby! She just started “classes” recently and I would watch her on her kindie’s cctv going all out with her “lessons”. She would wave her hands in the air, rush for a chair and just be herself. Her same self who has not changed since I first held her in my arms.

AK has always been full of sass and there is no forcing her to do something she does not want to do. While some may see it as “spoiling” her, Mr Grumpy and I are not the sort to crack down on it unless she really does something wrong. We try encouraging her to keep her promises(like the last time she said she would blow bubbles or the last potato chip she promised to have) and as a mother, I want her to be able to form opinions and decisions on her own without fear or control as the undertones of her childhood.

Lately, her favorite things to do are to play with my lipstick and call everyone (including herself) naughty. Hahaha it’s quite funny actually because one time we were wondering how she got so bossy and realized she was repeating and imitating us! There really is truth to how children can be reflective of the parents, more so at a young age.

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My day begins and ends with her, my silences filled with her laughs and cries and my heart, oh it has grown much more than the width of my arms that hold her. When she cries, a part of me breaks and when she laughs, I am all the more amused. She frustrates me with her endless energy but when it is quiet, I go looking and calling out for her. She is the backbone of many decisions I make and my motivation for pushing myself that bit further.

It’s bittersweet sometimes.

From the days she used to just fit into the shape of my arms to her struggling to cuddle and wriggling while she sits on my lap, I sometimes wish time does not fly by so fast. From having kisses easily to having to negotiate deals now for them, I love her so much and the person she is slowly becoming. She is full of love despite her cheekiness and so much empathy. She is independent and helpful, helping us with our laundry and house chores.

With all the stuff I have been through, I am trying to not be bitter and to always be positive. She should not have to pay for the pain other people have inflicted on me. She deserves my best whenever she has me. All the effort I am putting in has been fruitful so far and even if she disappoints me one day, I hope she would know she was always loved. That the love grows each day without conditions. She can just be her and I would always love her.

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