A week has passed since I have started my new job and though it looks like the hustle and bustle will be coming my way soon, I still have time to breathe. The two weeks of unemployment was just so lush. I managed to chill yet still be productive with organising the house far better than I would have been able to if I was working. There is still some left that niggles at me, but step by step it should get there. The CNY break this weekend will be a welcoming respite for the OCD side of me to come out.
After what seemed like a tranquil calm, storms again began to brew and as people showed their ugly sides, I realised that this is not something that is likely to end. There is no happy ending, we dance back and forth but we are not really getting anywhere and while I used to indulge in some impulsive spending, I needed something else to turn to.
I started bullet journaling. I would love to share more about it in a separate post in the future but it was interesting how that small step started a journey into the art world for me. I’ve tried a bit of brush lettering and watercolor and had a really good time at the brush lettering workshop I attended. There is a certain calm in focusing on something at hand and creating something beautiful. It takes practice, but the great news is that the more you practice the better it looks. Here is one of my recent tries:
I always thought we had to aim for perfection but the idea is to start anywhere and be gentle with yourself. Enjoy it for that it is and before you know it, you would have improved and met people who share that interest along the way. I had fun trying out different pens, products and papers which I will also share more about hopefully! Loving the journey thus far.
Art and prayers seem to be really helping me right now. As mentioned, things may never change and I’ve come to the realization that I need to let go of my past; I need to finally breathe and not feel guilty about 1001 things in life which may not even be my fault. For all the gentleness and kindness I have tried practicing on others, I should love and be gentle with myself a bit more.
I’d like to share this inspiring video I watched recently. I love how she was brutally honest and could definitely relate to the sentiments she talked about.
“You ask for patience, and what you get is a line at the bank.”
What that means is that life does not give you what you’ve asked for, it gives you the people, places, and situations that allow you to develop what you ask for.
And the thing is if you don’t get it right the first time, life will give it to you again. Because life is very generous that way.”