Common courtesy ain’t so common anymore

During my school days in Cempaka, you would hear a few words of wisdom from our chairman and though I had many a sleepy morning listening, today brought one of her messages back to my mind loud and clear. It was…

”It seems common sense is not that common anymore”

She told a story of how this person threw rubbish out of their car window and when they stopped at a traffic light, she returned that trash into the fellow’s window. Looking back, I guess she must have been irritated or peeved for that to pop up, maybe she felt really really strongly about a clean environment in general. It’s also a coincidence given that my friend was complaining about the same thing, saying certain things should be understood and not have to be said. Unfortunately, intelligence/common sense may not have been evenly spread on the bread of mankind.


So what agitated this peeve, you ask? Mainly how some people behave in public. Yes, everyone is not having an easy time, we could all be doing better financially but I don’t think it gives you a right to be an ass  nuisance to other people, even if you do not know them.

If you look through social media, you will see or hear videos/pictures of people and their parking hell incidents. There’s this page on Facebook ”You park like an a**hole (Malaysia)” and it makes you wonder how it is so rampant that they have many a daily post regarding this special brand of people. You would also see those not giving up seats to those who may need it more. The poor old man/lady with weak knees, the pregnant woman who looks like she had a fight (and lost) to her morning sickness, no no…these people would rather avert their eyes/pretend to be asleep/look at their phones. There have been many a time I have imagined grabbing that phone and flinging it out or stepping on a few toes so they cannot pretend they do not see these things happening. Peeve no. 1

*Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to see a video/picture of your fine self/your fine car and have public social shaming?*

Have you ever been in a queue for the cashier and while you are sorting things out to be paid, some goon comes and plonks their stuff on the cashier too? This happened to me today and it was very sweet of the saleslady to tell her to take her stuff off. Where is this fire I do not know about? We are in a costume jewelry shop, so excuse me for not understanding your urgency. It’s the same with those ”heavy breathing stalkers’‘ who insist on being part of your body heat when queuing at ATMs, lifts/buses, trains (cos it’s the LAST train EVER) or coffee shops. Do you people really have to be THAT close? It’s like we are grinding in some club and I really really do not like it. In conjunction to this, I do not understand those who get their feet cemented to the ground once they are off the escalator. Like right there and then, it was a moment bestowed by the heavens that they get some sort of revelation that everyone else is unaware of. MOVE ALONG, for goodness sake!!! Peeve no. 2

How about going to a restaurant/shop under dressed and getting sub-par service? Oh my, this one really riles me up. While it is nice to dress up, once in a while you would like a dress down day and I was at this restaurant with my friend. They told us to come back in 20 minutes and when we did, we saw they gave our table to someone else and crossed our name off the list. The lady was not counting on my seeing it and normally I would be nice, but for this…my voice started rising slowly and I jabbed that list. Surprise surprise, we got a table immediately! Note to self: the restaurant may not be full even if some smart a**es say it is. Peeve no. 3

Yes, no one is perfect but if you are at a place with money to spend, does that not show you HAVE that money? Who do they think they are, these waiters/service staff to treat you in a less nice manner? Must you always be strict and put on a haughty ”I only speak proper English/I sooo am speaking to your manager you little…” tone for you to get good service? It’s ironic in a way because when some overbearing people come in and behave as such, they DO tend to fall all over themselves trying to please those people. I have sometimes seen my mum and sister being nice to some staff only to get them being haughty to them. However, the tables quickly turn once these ladies start using THEIR specific tones.

 On the upside, it shows if you want to get a certain message across, it is not just the content, it’s the tone. When certain tones are applied, the less you would need to say but the message may resonate through these people’s nightmares.

Has a very Queen Bey: Bow down, b*tches feel to it.

This is all unnecessary hostility and tension people! If we apply good or sweet behavior, such unpleasantness can be avoided.

A rationale of it would be that they knowwww how they are supposed to behave, yet just decide it may be easier to behave otherwise. Take it up another notch, where they get so used to giving such service or being such nuisances that when someone comes around, shakes them up and demands better behavior/service, they pee their pants a little (metaphorically) and do so. I guess to keep it simple, if you come across such people, treat them like you would a naughty toddler.

Be firm yet make it clear who’s boss. 

Managing people, especially in the food and beverage alongside retail industries is definitely not easy and if you have ever had a job in customer service, you would see this apparent whether in some problematic staff or customers themselves. It makes one sad to think that maybe they are so unsatisfied with some parts of their lives that they seem unwilling to go the extra mile or give that goodwill/smile for someone else. It’s also such that you cannot motivate anyone to change their behavior or drill in that common sense, no matter how you try, if they really refuse to change.

There’s this air of self-entitlement that many people have and maybe it also can be attributed as a first world problem. Where people feel like certain things are their rights because of who their parents may be/how much money they have/simply because they are so fabulous (or fabulously delusional) when really, the world owes them nothing. You are supposed to work for what you want and this also reminds me of this one saying.. ‘‘No matter how different you may think you are, you will still fart like the next person”. You will still go through things like death and pain (if we are going to get all philosophical about it) so maybe it’d be best to practice that common sense right about now.


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