So, as part of my Masters’ modules, you often have to write ‘Reflective Learning Reports’. These are accounts of what you’ve learnt and how you believe you will apply it in your roles and I recently wrote one about my module ”Coaching and Mentoring”. Among the different modules, this was one of my favorites (maybe because you sit and chat with people, yet it somehow helps them…like a mamak session! Kidding) and I thought of the changes we often go through in life.
The biggest transitions in my life so far was not being a uni student anymore and also becoming a wife. As you grow up, others tell you how it would be. Does the following sound familiar?
Parents: You better study hard or no one will want to employ you!!! You want to sweep trash?!
Friends: Job search is hell/ my colleagues/my organization sucks!
Others: I never thought life could be so depressing, I wish I was a kid again.
As such, I think two ways to maintain sanity in an ever changing life is to practice gratitude and also, to reflect. They say to take a moment to smell the roses and this is so true, but maybe it’d also help to think of how/why the roses smell for you to get true value out of reflecting. I decided to include an excerpt of the report here for your viewing pleasure:
In my other roles, I find that there is a need to coach and to be coached for me to be more effective in these roles…we often underrate the quality of relationships we have with our family members as we take for granted that we spend a lot of time with them. Meaning to say, while we live with each other, we may not necessarily fully understand each other and this can cause unnecessary friction. Moreover, when with family members, diplomacy is imperative as certain truths may be hard to accept and it is also easy to make wrong assumptions about someone else’s behaviour.
However, as an intern and a wife, there is a higher need to be coached as there are new experiences which may be tricky to navigate through. Having worked in different positions across different industries, you realize that there may not be an infallible approach to all situations, even if they are all in the context of work. It is also not wrong to have to ask for help if needed. To that degree, it is also important to be cautious with people (more so those you differ significantly from) and to reach a higher level of self-awareness for you to avoid a considerable amount of stress.
Coaching from the right person helps you have a better idea of the strengths to play with for you to be more effective at work. As a wife, you also realize that you have to practice proper active listening as many arguments in relationships can start off with ‘YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!’ and as marriage is a partnership, it is important to have a good quality of relationship and communication with your other half for the both of you to overcome struggles and enhance your quality of life over time.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard